2021 Audie Award Nominee for Best Nonfiction Audiobook
A #1 Wall Street Journal, Amazon Charts, USA Today, and Washington Post bestseller.
#1 New York Times bestselling author Gregg Olsen’s shocking and empowering true-crime story of three sisters determined to survive their mother’s house of horrors.
After more than a decade, when sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek hear the word mom, it claws like an eagle’s talons, triggering memories that have been their secret since childhood. Until now.
For years, behind the closed doors of their farmhouse in Raymond, Washington, their sadistic mother, Shelly, subjected her girls to unimaginable abuse, degradation, torture, and psychic terrors. Through it all, Nikki, Sami, and Tori developed a defiant bond that made them far less vulnerable than Shelly imagined. Even as others were drawn into their mother’s dark and perverse web, the sisters found the strength and courage to escape an escalating nightmare that culminated in multiple murders.
Harrowing and heartrending, If You Tell is a survivor’s story of absolute evil – and the freedom and justice that Nikki, Sami, and Tori risked their lives to fight for. Sisters forever, victims no more, they found a light in the darkness that made them the resilient women they are today – loving, loved, and moving on.
KAREN –
The minute I picked this book to read it smacked me hard. The sisters lives were way worse than mine but, there were quite a few similar things that happened to them and me and my sister. They faced far worse than we did so I can not blame them for their actions but, to tune out the abuse and say it at least got better for them is horrible. I come from a family of 4 siblings my sister, me, and 2 younger brothers so I know it happens because my mom beat my sister and I but, never my brothers. We were denied food, and personal Hygienic supplies, rarely got new clothes, beat with cords, belts, wiffle ball bats, paddles and fists and our brothers made things worse by blaming anything they did on us hence more beatings. It was to the point that when DFS stepped in my mom was able to twist everything to the point that my sister and I were labeled bad kids with authoritative issues.. My mom presents as Betty Crocker type mom to everyone even our friends. To this day my sister and I have Flashbacks of the abuse and have PTSD moments where we almost collapse and break under the memories. Never once did my sister turn her back on me nor I her and that made my mom livid. It took until 10 years ago roughly for my youngest brother to approach me and tell me he was sorry for all the things he did to get us in trouble and beat. He said he truly believed that we were bad and just didn’t want to listen and that is why our mom beat us. Even that does not make the hurt go away. He said that him and my brother were never treated that way so it didn’t affect them. My mom probably would have seriously hurt us if it wasn’t for my sister moving out at 16 and then my senior year 1993 during the last physical altercation between my mom and I while I had a severely bad broken leg. A female police officer looked me dead in the face as she placed me in the backseat and said ” You need to get out, they next time we get a call you might be dead or you are going to kill her trying to get away”. That was the moment I knew that I xould no longer be complacent. I called my grandmother told her what happened this time and 2 days later moved in with my aunt. My sister and I still have a tough relationship with my mom we do not trust her but, we love her we just make sure that when our kids were younger they never stayed longer than was direly needed. We love our stepfather so much and even though he followed what our mom told him to do to us we no longer blame him because he was twisted by our mothers craziness. Both my sister and I suffer from PTSD, panic attacks. have nightmares, flashbacks and suffer from insomnia and any type of Family function or get together makes us pretty non functional for at least 24 hrs afterwards. We both pretty much crawl into a dark hole in our minds and hide from everyone in our households. Reading that other girls have endured my life and worse hit me hard and made me realize I am not alone.
Jessica lester –
I have mixed emotions about this one. It was really great, got a little twisted some parts were hard to read.. wish the ending could have been a little better. Overall great book couldn’t stop reading.
Marjory Knothe –
I found this book riveting. There were times it was difficult to read. The strength of three sisters to succeed in the wake of monstrous events done to them is remarkable. I was not aware of the sadistic story of Shelly Knotek prior to reading this book. It may be awhile before I can read more true crime books. Thank you Mr. Olsen for telling Nikki’s, Sami’s and Tori’s story, and helping us understand their individual need to come to terms with the atrocities committed against them.
P.H. –
This book is disturbing, but at the same time I continued to read it. It is Unbelievable that this even happened! There were times when I really got angry while reading this and then there were times that I was sad, but again, I kept reading. I do recommend this book, but beware!
Barb Conner –
True story that will leave you reeling. The story is put together so well for a life time of abuse and murder. The mother with the obvious mental health issues and the family is abused and manipulated to the end for some of them. The story is also one of survival. I can’t say the subject is for all readers, but it is handled in a very sensitive way.
Ashleigh F –
This book was written amazingly! Every detail in this book allowed me to feel the pain and suffering… it physically made my stomach hurt at times reading the small details of what this monster would do! I am sickend there can be this much evil in this world and the two main disgusting humans in this book are walking free today!
Aanonymous –
I had no idea what I was getting into when I picked up this book. I read the cover and thought it seemed like an interesting story.It wasn’t until I started the book that I realized this was kind of like a biography. A true story. I’ve never heard of the Knotek family before picking up this book. I was born in 1995, so I was young when the arrests happened.This book is harrowing but such a good read. There were a lot of things that were difficult to read and brought tears to my eyes. I can’t even imagine going through what these sisters did. My heart breaks for them, but I’m glad they are finding peace in their adult lives.Read this book.
Dyani Knottnerus –
I could feel the pain and fear each expressed. I kept wondering why their dad didn’t defend them and remove them from the home. I lived the life of abuse and fear. I understand why they kept returning. If the one we try to escape to does not make us feel safe, we think it’s better to return because we are conditioned to believe the abuser. At a time like this, we need someone stronger to step up and be strong on our behalf. We dont know any better despite our claims we do.
Nick Lewis –
This book has to be in my TOP FIVE.Disturbing, gut wrenching, sad, overwhelming.. I can’t even use enough disturbing adjectives to describe this book. The part of me who loves a good crime novel didn’t want this book to end but I had to keep reminding myself that this REALLY happened to people. My heart goes out to Kathy and Ron’s family. My heart goes out to Shane who had so much life left to live. My heart goes out to the sisters. I will carry this book and the weight of it in my heart from now on. I feel like I was right there watching it all unfold. Gregg Olson did an amazing job writing this book, I love how he included how he spoke with Danny. It kinda changed my thought process of Danny a little. Although he did awful things, he too was a victim of Shelly’s mind control.
MrsHReadsALot –
Riveting and soul crushing, I couldn’t put this book down. My first time reading anything by Gregg Olsen. I’m not well versed in non-fiction, but I thought he did a fantastic job at making me feel horrified and angry for these three sisters who grew up in abject terror of their mother and did everything in their power to just make it out alive. At times I was shocked at all the times no one did anything to leave or get help. But I forget how pervasive fear is. The whole “don’t rock the boat” mentality. I should know better because I was raised by a violently turbulent mother who could be the sweetest, funniest and lovable person and in matter of seconds (always feels instantaneous) turn into the devil. I saw a little bit of myself in each of the sisters. The living inside your head fantasizing about revenge or better yet leaving them behind and forgotten for good and then the sicker and more confusing part of you that still loves them and yearns for the unconditional love in return. But this mother was unhinged 24/7 and completely unredeemable. EVIL. These children were conditioned their entire lives by this “master manipulator” (gaslighting a very powerful tactic) that this is what family is. This what’s normal behavior. But they knew deep in their souls that this wasn’t right. The children I could understand. They were too afraid to speak out because they had been taught that they had no where to go. Their worse fear was that no one would believe them (because sometimes they had a hard time believing, “aka understanding” it themselves) and being brought to even greater heights of torture in retaliation. What I had trouble fathoming were the so called adults. I suppose that shouldn’t have shocked me either, because I’m more than aware that most adults don’t have it all together and can live the majority of their lives in a perpetual state of ignorance. It’s so easy. Out of sight out of mind and all that nonsense. But some people, like Shelly, who was referenced as an apex predator throughout this story had that uncanny ability to sense and then weed out the very vulnerable. People who needed a friend. Were given the barest of minimums in kindness and support and then had it all taken away. By that point they were already in too deep to really understand what they had gotten themselves into. Broke my heart. There are so many lost souls in this world just trying to figure things out and at the same time willing to give everything they have to offer to others. Making it easier to be taken advantage of, which would be bad enough. But these unfortunate souls had the bad luck to make contact with Shelly. And be sucked into her abyss of gaslighting, finger pointing and violent rhetoric that had everyone under her roof a husk of their former selves. And that’s what she thrived off of. Like a vampire sucking the life out of her intended victim. She’d drain them of their confidence, free will and any sense of purpose until they were as empty as she was. It’s hard to imagine that some people are just born evil. But I 100% believe that Shelly is one of those people. Maybe she’s missing something in her brain that provides the ability to truly empathize with others and know what it means to do right by someone other than themselves. But Shelly lacked all of the qualities that make us truly human. I know we all have the ability to be savage and take on the world when we’re being cornered. But Shelly, even as a little girl relished in her ability to be rotten. There was a family history of abuse and neglect. Maybe it was in the blood or learned behavior? Maybe it was too late for Shelly to change by the time she was already brought to live with her estranged father at 6 years old? That’s terrifying. There are no answers as to why this woman did what she did. It’s frustrating that so many people were aware of the situation and did nothing, but it’s not hard to understand why. If not for her inherent laziness and her incredible sense of entitlement, she could have been the leader of a cult that took over entire communities or a country if her vision went beyond just humiliating and dominating over one person at a time. She was so very good at lying and manipulating. Not everyone bought into. But she knew how to pick her battles and who to mess with. She was always in it to win it. She just never realized that her crimes would come to light by her own daughters. Her original victims. The girls by all accounts should have been her own mirror images. But they were born with a conscious. And after years of trying to make it out and stay out they could finally do the one thing that was never an option before. Stand up to the monster. I’m emotionally wrecked after reading this. But it’s paced so well and the subject matter really hits home. Triggering for sure, but written in a way that makes it hard to put down. Sorry for this incredibly long and irrelevant review.